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It's So Hard to Say Goodbye

September 28, 2020

January 27, 2020

Dear Friends,

I had a whole other newsletter and blog prepared for today.  But this is what is on my heart right now.

This weekend was filled with tragedy.  

Unexplainable, unpredictable, unacceptable tragedy that hit all the members of our family hard.

First, was the memorial yesterday for Alex, a first-grade boy that attended my daughter's school, and had tragically been killed during recess when a rolling gate became dislodged and fell.  You can imagine how traumatizing it has been for all the students at our school and in our community.  I am still anxiously waiting for my daughter to process what happened and to talk about it.  But at this time, she has only expressed sadness and she did not want to attend the funeral so I respected her wishes.  

Next, was hearing the news of Kobe and his daughter, Gianna, in the helicopter crash this morning.  Kobe was a year older than us, so when my husband and I went to college in San Diego, Kobe was just starting his career in the NBA.  My husband was an especially die-hard Kobe fan, along with the entire world, and he continued to stay loyal and support Kobe until his last game 4 years ago.  We think celebrities and legends are untouchable, but this is a tough reminder that no one is invincible.

Third, and hopefully last, was receiving an email today from one of my regular #StopDropAndDance students, Catherine, who shared that another student, Lisa, lost her 16-year-old son Shayne this weekend from a tragic accidental fall from a higher deck at their house.  Lisa comes every week to my class at Marin Power Yoga and stands in the front right behind me, always with a smile on her face.

Lisa, I am so extremely heartbroken to hear about your son and cannot imagine how much you are hurting right now.

I share all this because I am feeling a little numb and helpless.    

There are no answers.  There is no reason.  All that we are left with is confusion and pain.  When we find ourselves drowning in sadness or hurt, what do we do?  What can we do?

We search for healing.

Maybe that means holding on tightly to our loved ones right now.  Not holding back our words and emotions, and sharing what we feel.  Maybe that means taking some quiet, uninterrupted time for yourself to just reflect and breathe.  It is enough to just get through the day.  Maybe that means seeking professional help and talking through the hurt.  Allowing someone to guide you towards healing.

I have no idea.  I only know that we have to find healing.  No matter how hard it may be, we have to keep going.  

Click here to donate to Lisa's family on GoFundMe.

If you are feeling helpless and would like to do something that can actually make a difference, please consider contributing to the funeral fund for Shayne.  Even though you may not know Lisa and her family, the amazing thing about being humans, is connection.  I feel what you feel.  You feel what I feel.  And I wish no one had to go through this type of pain.  

Thank you for being part of my extended #StopDropAndDance family.  I want you to know how deeply I appreciate you, and I hope that dance can be your healing place when you need it.  It is for me.