I was one of those kids who started wearing glasses at 6 years old. Huge, circle shaped glasses with a pink plastic frame holding up my thick lenses. I remember doing the talent show with my best friend Karen, wearing matching hot pink unitards, and as I did a cartwheel, those glasses fell on the ground and I just desperately tried to finish the routine without falling off the stage. Because I was heavily involved with gymnastics, and because my vision was so poor, after that talent show incident I became one of the rare kids who was allowed to wear contact lenses. To this day, I cannot function at all if I did not wear my -7.00 contacts or glasses. Blind as a bat is the term, right?
2020 starts not only a new year, but also a new decade, and with that, a new vision.
My eyesight might not have improved, but my vision for 2020 is clear:
I turned 40 this year. I am at a point in life where I want to freeze time. I am married to a supportive, brilliant, caring husband who was my college sweetheart and balances my seriousness with playfulness and fun. I have two beautiful, charismatic, kind girls who are sponges that love to learn and teach me that we all need to find compassion and forgiveness. I love my mini-goldendoodle who is more of a toy-sized Chewbacca that reminds me what unconditional love and support looks like. I am surrounded with affection by my family and closest friends who always give me the freedom and space to be uniquely me. I belong to a community of students and teachers that encourage growth, vulnerability, and acceptance. I wish I could freeze time before anything changes, but I know I can't. All I can do is keep making family my #1 priority and cherish our time together.
In 2020, I will prioritize spending quality time with the people in my life.
Along with turning 40, I had a bucket list to accomplish 3 triathlons this past year. I took swim lessons, I bought a road bike, and I trained the hardest I ever have for 10 months to complete the Marin Sprint Triathlon, the Escape From Alcatraz Triathlon, and the Santa Rosa 70.3 Half Ironman. During this process, I learned to get comfortable with failing. Whether it was not swimming the number of laps I had set out to do, or panicking and back-floating in my first open water swim, or hyperventilating in the San Francisco Bay many times... I had to accept NOT accomplishing my goal for that day. I had to sit with this genuine fear of cold water, currents, and possibly not making it to the finish line, for 10 months, and let the anxiety and emotions show up however it needed to in my life. Sometimes that meant crying in the middle of my classes. Sometimes that meant leaning on my training partner Lizzy to help me make it through. Sometimes that meant accepting failure and stepping back to try again another day. I believe my triathlon training was for a bigger purpose. This past year taught me that it's ok to fail, and that I cannot measure my self worth with success or failure. I am enough.
In 2020, I will embrace the possibility of failures with self-love and self-compassion.
Stop Drop And Dance. This website, blog, Dance-A-Thon, social media... This vision. Everything is new and scary and unpredictable, and I feel very vulnerable. But that's where faith comes in. I created Stop Drop And Dance because it's literally what I crave. In the car, I listen to songs over and over until I feel and see choreography, because I want to. I'm often one of those people dancing unknowingly while stopped at the stoplight, until I notice the person next to me staring. When I teach, I am so happy. The movements and music are contagious and for an hour of my day, I feel free from stress or worries when I dance. And the community... there is magic when a group of non-judgmental, non-competitive, friendly and open people dance together. The energy is infectious. This is what I hope to share on a larger scale, but it is not up to me. I will let it happen organically and be proud of Stop Drop And Dance regardless of how big or small it becomes. If anything, all of this will be for my most important audience, my daughters.
In 2020, I will trust and have faith in whatever direction God guides me towards.
Thank you, friends, for reading this far and supporting me. Above all, I am so grateful. I hope in 2020 we can always remember that life is a gift, one that is too short, and often not kind. We need to appreciate each moment, all the struggles, all the successes, all the lessons, and keep growing, learning, and helping this world be a better, kinder place.
2020 is here and we are excited to test out Stop Drop And Dance on social media. Please like, follow, subscribe, or share our Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube pages, and use #StopDropAndDance in your posts to spread the love. Join us as we dance to Meghan Trainor's, "Good To Be Alive."
Yes, it is. Happy 2020!